So today was interesting. I was stuck in traffic for like an hour and a half this morning. then i got to school and my 1st and last classes were cancelled. i got rained on so damn bad, my leg warmers were super soaked. so i skipped school all together. well i did try to go back for one class but it didnt work out either. ugh. i need to get it together.

No messages or calls from Geoff yet. MANN! where are all the men at?! like i know that i may not be americas next top model material but dude, im not ugly. why cant i find a man?! its not like im that hard to please.  you make me laugh and dude i fall for you. and its REALLY not hard to make me laugh cuz i laugh at some corny stuff haha. 

Anyways.. valentines days comin up. annd its gonna super suck. last valentines day was with Geoff. and he got me all this stuff.. annnnd now i have no one. lol. well thats not what counts(what he got me.) I really had a good valentines day because of him. my very first one... dude. i miss him :(  oh well. i'll get over it. It sucks but.. what can ya do. 

Current Location: My Room
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: The Scientist- Coldplay

 I'm gonna say my name is Ariana. I moved here from a different country in 1999. No, i dont have an accent. It would be kinda cool if i did though.  I'm gonna go through everything that happened since i came here: 

I remember so clearly when I was in my aunt's lap crying my eyes out on the way to the airport. She told me i would be okay and that i would be back soon, but i knew it wasn't true. We moved to Houston, TX. We lived in a small two bedroom apartment, nothing special. We lived there for about two years until we moved to a house, and i got my own room :)

I did everything to fit in at first, all the way to highschool. (I think i discovered myself my senior year.. well atleast i started to. I think i still haven't quite figured everything out yet, but i'm getting there.)  So lets fast foward to 10th grade, yes? 

I met my bestfriend when  i was in the 10th grade (i shall call her Jordan.) I started smoking weed when i was in 10th grade also. One day i was at this guy's house where my friends and i used to smoke everyday after school. (I would tell my parents I was staying after school for tutorials.) It was just him and i that day, and we had been smoking, sooo i was more than eager to lose my virginity. His mom walked in because she heard us. She told my mother, but i denied it. I'm not quite sure she believes me to this day. I quit smoking.

In 11th grade I was fighting alot, so my parents made me switch schools. At the new school i went to i met this girl. I will call her Adrian Hemmerson.  We became very close. Even after i went back to my old school we kept in touch. The summer of 2006, i drove her to go see her boyfriend. That is where i met this guy i will call Geoff. Love at first site much. lol. He was a badboy, yes. But oh we flirted. I couldnt figure out why i liked him, he's really not cute. But damn, i was head over heels. He called me two nights later and we talked all night, he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes. He seemed like my dream guy, he made me laugh, conversations were endless, he seemed genuine. I saw something in him. 

A month or so later, i found out he was still with his ex. And from that point on i kept on finding out more and more shady stuff. He cheated on me with so many girls. Including Adrian Hemmerson, who was supposed to be my friend. Needless to say her and i are no longer friends. Finally (about a year later.. March of 2007) i decided to break up with yhim. Unfortunate part about it, he knew i was tired of his shit... so he decided it was a good idea to get me pregnant.  

Geoff told me he loved me. He didnt. I loved him.. as a matter of fact I still do. I dont know why.. but oh do i.

So he got me pregnant. My friend Monissa and i went to the free pregnancy center and i got tested. There was very nice ppl there. They talked to me and made me decide to keep it. I found out there are these centers for women who have babies and no one to take care of them. Plus Geoff's mom offered to help me. Then the weekend of my birthday i found out Geoff was cheating on me again with this girl Erela. I called my cousin Homer and told him about the situation. He told me i absolutely HAD to get an abortion and that my parents would be so disspointed etc. I know it was completely my decision, and i decided to do it. I didnt want a child that wouldn't be properly taken care of. I know it doesn't justify anything.. And i feel like shit about it. Anyways... apparently Geoff had given me a chlamydia infection.. which PROVED he had cheated on me. So i called him and told him no baby. Annnd .. he said he was busy and hung up on me. So we broke up. And he got with that Erela girl. 

It has been over 6 months.. and currently I am single.. And i miss him. Truley.. i would have loved to have that baby.. and i regret all that every single day of my life. I work at a daycare.. and i always wonder what my own child would have been like. I miss Geoff alot.. but i dont think he wants to talk to me.. i'm goin to college now and im working. im still bestfriends with Jordan and Monissa. I also have another bestfriend who's very important in my life(Darrien.) Now that you guys know about me.. and my past i can regularly blog about my days and vent. Feel free to comment. Thankss.

Tags: depression, drama, life, personal
Current Location: My Room
Current Mood: thoughtful